Full disclosure - Its the law

The law says you must give full disclosure of any problems with a house when you sell it.

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FEMALE COMPASSION

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been fucked? The fellow said, 'No.'

She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'

I don't know what to say about this one.

I gotta have one

pheasant hunting

Gennaro's leather shoes

Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day And passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window To admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the price Of the shoes, $300,and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community Holds a dance in the church basement. Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear His new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time. He asks Sophia to dance and As they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?' Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, But how do you know?' Gennaro answers, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance, And after a few minutes he asks, ' Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?' Rosa answers, 'Yes, Gennaro, I do, But how do you know that?' He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Now as the evening is almost over And the last song is being played, Gennaro asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face Turns red. He states,'Carmela, be stilla my heart, Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, Please, please, tella me this true!' Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight.'

Gennaro gasps, 'Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in my $300 Boccelli leather shoes!'

Pesky little swimmers

Nuptial observations

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... Nash You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous