Random blonde joke

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

From cracked.com but so true

Click image to enlarge.

I hate when that happens

He Puts It in the Wrong Place - Watch more Funny Videos

Sockets

Ah the Irish

Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round to see him. Mick says 'how you doin?' Paddy says ' do us a favour, nip upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.'

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed. He says 'your dad's sent me up here to shag the both of you'.

They say 'get away with ya ... Prove it.'

Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'

Paddy shouts back 'of course both of em, what's the point of fukin' one?'

COURAGE?

What is the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a bull in a bullfight?

Is it standing up to a bully you know is going to kick your ass?

Is it to fly a fighter in combat?Is it to practice free falling parachuting?

Is it to insult your boss?

Is it asking a lady to dance you know will say ..'NO'...?

Is it getting on a football field weighing 150lb's and everyone else weighs 300..?

Is it losing your first 'love'..?

Bullshit.........those are nothing!

THIS IS COURAGE!

Mailman

One Monday morning the mailman is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Dave, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

'Wow Dave, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the mailman comments.

Dave, in obvious pain, replies, 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.'

The mailman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

Dave says, 'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The mailman laughs and says, 'Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' Dave responds. 'Your name came up seven times.'

How to tell when a banana goes bad

The Gift.....

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, “I wanna watch.”