Sexual harassment in the workplace

Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.

The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

"It's Frank.....the midget."

Stolen weapon found during search at Tennessee jail

APRIL 22--A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina when she was brought into jail yesterday afternoon following a collar for driving with a suspended license, police report.

As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search.
 
The jailer and a female cop then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina, ”according to a Kingsport Police Department report.
 
A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver--which is four inches in length--had been “stolen from an auto burglary in 2013.” The handgun, which police valued at $250, is owned by John Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman.
 
In a TSG interview, Souther said that the gun was taken from his 1994 Mustang, which was “ransacked” last year while parked in his Kingsport carport. Souther said that police told him that the revolver had been recovered, but offered no further details. When told where the gun had been stashed, Souther said, “Oh, gosh.” He noted that he would eventually like “the little fellow” returned, but added that the weapon would require “a bath in bleach.”

News of the weapon in Archer’s vagina was first reported by the Kingsport Times-News.
 
Archer, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility.
 
According to a jail official, Archer was released from custody after posting $6000 bond.
 
AND NOW THE READER RESPONSES
 
1. ​I thought it was her gun. Turns out it was snatched!
2. Gives new meaning to a gun having a "hair trigger".
3. Happiness is a warm gun?
4. At four inches in length it comes off as half cocked...
5. "For sale AA22LR never used; still in the box."
6. Report reads, "...Introducing contraband into a penal facility." Shouldn't that be 'penile' facility?
7. If it went off, could you call it her 'boom box'?
8. Remember : Every vagina is to be treated as if it is loaded. Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.
9. They say it was a gun, but something smells fishy.
10.You can have my gun when you can pry it from my cold, stinking...
11. Oh my... accident waiting to happen. Could 'shoot the beaver'.
12.I have heard of shooting your mouth off, but this takes on a "hole" new meaning...
13.Complete reversal on the classic, "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
14.I wonder if she had 'gun-areah'?
15.Gives a whole new meaning to "Vaginal Discharge"...
16.Do you suppose she had a 'rectal reloader'?
17.A gun in hand is worth 2 in the bush?
18.Figures... it uses 'rim shot' ammo.
19. This supports the “Big Bang” theory.

The first day of school in Birmingham UK.

The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:
"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here."
"Achmed El Kabul?" "Here."
"Fatima Al Hayek? " "Here."
"Ali Abdul Olmi?" "Here."
"Mohammed Bin Kadir?" "Here."
"Ali Son al Len” Silence in the classroom.
"Ali Son al Len" Continued silence as everyone looked around the room.
She repeated, "Is this the name of any child here?"
A girl stood and said, "I think that's me, Miss. It's pronounced Alison Allen"

Up or down?

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that........ they both loved to fish.

Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and....... started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, 'Do you want to go up or down?'

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man ......right there in the boat!

When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

He again asked the lady , 'Up or down?'

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down?'

The woman replied, 'Down.' A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down
the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady 'Up or down?'

She replied, 'Up.'

This really confused the gentleman so he asked, 'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me.

Now today, nothing!'

She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown...