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Prostate - Milking vs Orgasm
8 years ago
Friday, June 27, 2008
The Bindi
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads called a bindi. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed.
When one of these women gets married, she brings with her a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see if he has won either a corner shop, a sub post office, a minicab company, or a restaurant in Southall. If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephone enquiries from Barclays Bank customers.
Just thought you would like to know.
When one of these women gets married, she brings with her a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see if he has won either a corner shop, a sub post office, a minicab company, or a restaurant in Southall. If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephone enquiries from Barclays Bank customers.
Just thought you would like to know.
Two nuns
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts."Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine. "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off the car!"
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts."Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine. "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off the car!"
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Wife is dead?
An old guy went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think my wife is dead!"
The doctor exclaimed, "What do you mean you think your wife is dead?! Either she is or she isn't! I don't understand."
The old guy said, "Well, the sex is the same but the laundry's piling up."
The doctor exclaimed, "What do you mean you think your wife is dead?! Either she is or she isn't! I don't understand."
The old guy said, "Well, the sex is the same but the laundry's piling up."
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Sempe Fi again
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?' 'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.' 'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up aconversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?'
' 2002, ma'am.' 'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 2002! She took his han and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against hisbare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 2002.
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?' 'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.' 'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up aconversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?'
' 2002, ma'am.' 'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 2002! She took his han and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against hisbare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 2002.
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
7 Kinds of Sex (a classic)
Results of recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone , and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner fo! r too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'fuck you.'
The 5 th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is w! hen you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and fucks you in front of everyone.
And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. * You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone , and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner fo! r too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'fuck you.'
The 5 th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is w! hen you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and fucks you in front of everyone.
And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. * You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
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