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Prostate - Milking vs Orgasm
8 years ago
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Buy that life insurance to protect the little lady.
The cremated husband Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him... "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?" "Well, here it comes."
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him... "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?" "Well, here it comes."
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
In the pub
Walked into a pub last night; there were two large girls drinking at the bar.
I noticed they had strange accents so I said to them: “Hi. Are you girls from Scotland?”
One of them then screamed at me, “It’s Wales you idiot… Wales!!
So I immediately apologized and said, “Are you two whales from Scotland?”
And that’s when the trouble started...
I noticed they had strange accents so I said to them: “Hi. Are you girls from Scotland?”
One of them then screamed at me, “It’s Wales you idiot… Wales!!
So I immediately apologized and said, “Are you two whales from Scotland?”
And that’s when the trouble started...
Monday, March 19, 2012
Hard to argue this logic.
Women always say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Here is proof that they are wrong.
A year or so after giving birth a woman will often say "it’d be nice to have another baby".
You never hear a bloke say " I wouldn’t mind another kick in the nuts".
Case closed.
Here is proof that they are wrong.
A year or so after giving birth a woman will often say "it’d be nice to have another baby".
You never hear a bloke say " I wouldn’t mind another kick in the nuts".
Case closed.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A classic as retold by my Brit buddy.
A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Goodwood races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal..
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their underpants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year four.'
"No, love,"he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15"
When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal..
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their underpants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year four.'
"No, love,"he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15"
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Taxi
An Arab Gets into a taxi.
Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel's and certainly no radio.
So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door.
The Arab asks him: “Watt are you doing man?”
The cabby answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis. So get the fuck out and wait for a camel.”
Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel's and certainly no radio.
So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door.
The Arab asks him: “Watt are you doing man?”
The cabby answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis. So get the fuck out and wait for a camel.”
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The prostate exam
An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from whatyou are probably used to.
I want you to lie on yourright side,bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,'99'.
The old guy obeys and says,"99".
The doctor says, "Great",now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breathand say,'99".
Again, the old guysays, '99'."
The doctor said, “Very good”.
Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The old guy begins,
"One...
two…
three…"
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from whatyou are probably used to.
I want you to lie on yourright side,bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,'99'.
The old guy obeys and says,"99".
The doctor says, "Great",now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breathand say,'99".
Again, the old guysays, '99'."
The doctor said, “Very good”.
Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The old guy begins,
"One...
two…
three…"
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Having not seen my wife for several months, I was horny & hot, pulsing with anticipation and looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex with her.
Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her head, and I shot her.
Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her head, and I shot her.
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