Peppermint

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .....

....... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Murphy's hat

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?

Murphy said, I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat.

The priest said, Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynns hat.  What changed your mind? Murphy replied, Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all.

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said After I talked about Thou Shalt Not Steal ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?

Murphy slowly shook his head. No, Father, after ya talked about Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery I remembered where I left me hat.

Baby K'Tan

Shave and a shoeshine

A fellow sat on the barber's chair "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."

The barber (using a straight razor by the way) began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful real breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The Texan said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."

The Texan said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him; you're closer.